Skip to main content

Being Happy

By

Getting married and staying into this institution for one year is not quite an achievement as I come from India. In my country, weddings are supposed to get repaired not exchanged when malfunction. However, one year has made me older and wiser. Even if I hate to admit the older part, I brag about the wiser one. Well, even if not wise, below mentioned points will make you happy for sure. And being happy is more important than being wise.

1. There are no adjustment issues if the love is mature: If you tell me you never had adjustment issues in your marriage, trust me darling, for the rest of my life I would think you guys are cheating on each other. Or lying. You better be lying for your own good. When you have had more than two decades to shape up your life and form your opinions, love does not change everything overnight.

2. We fight because we love each other: I have often heard couples saying that they fight because they love each other. No morons! That is not how it works. You stick and fight together to the rest of the world because you love each other. You fight to each other because you have a swollen head and big mouth! Keep a watch on what goes in and out of your mouth. Make love, don’t make love an excuse for your war. And remember, adjustment issues can be solved without fighting too.


3. We should not go to bed angry: I don’t know about you, but I love my sleep. And so does my husband. Sleep deprivation makes me irrational, irritating and unreasonable. Sometimes it is good to pause the argument and give some rest to the tiny head of yours. Believe me, Sunshine can cure almost everything. Or did they say that about time? More often than not, when you get a good night sleep, things tend to look better in the morning. Well, much better than it looked when you were cranky and teary eyed last night.

4. We can say anything to each other: Now, I am not asking you to be dishonest. Just a little careful. And respectful in your choice of words. Would you have liked it if you were talked to in that tone? And do not give me “does-not-matter-as-we-are-in-love” crap. Seriously, don’t make love an excuse. You don’t talk to your manager disrespectfully and you probably hate that guy. So why are you careful while talking to him? Because what he thinks will get reflected in your pace form. Does the fact that your spouse matters more than anyone else makes him/her entitled to more respect? The answer is a definite yes!

5. He/she understands when I get angry: No they don’t. They just pretend to understand it because they don’t want to make things worse. No one wants to be treated badly. Not even when you are angry. Unless it was a definite fault of their. As I said before, chose your words wisely. Nothing gives you the right to mistreat the other person. Not even marriage.

Keeping your expectations real and not watching many romantic movies will help you a lot too. Flowers, chocolate and stuff toys are nice gestures but they do not guarantee love in long terms. In fact, nothing but your attitude matters. Love, understanding, trust, respect and loyalty are big words which no body inherits. We have to work on it. Some days we work harder. Being happy in a marriage is not easy, at least not for first few years. But it is worth all the efforts you put in. So bring on your A game and I can assure you one year of blissful marriage. After that, my darling, you are on your own.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. Shweta26 April 2013 at 02:53

    :) thank you. cup cakes and chocolate bars help too ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown26 April 2013 at 03:53

    proper implementation of above mentioned would entirely overcome divorce type of thing:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown26 April 2013 at 14:09

    Kudos for the 5th point... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Voice26 April 2013 at 18:31

    I don't know about the points, but the fact you guys are happy together is enough to congratulate you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shweta28 April 2013 at 22:05

    Thank you :) This is what i have experienced and observed. We and the couples around us have been the subject of the study (unwillingly and unknowingly, if i may say) Things might be different on another corner of the world :)
    To each, his own :)
    May you all have sunshine n smiles in your nuptial journeys. :) :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Textures of an old soul

By
In 2008, I was in Sacramento, California. As excited as possible for a boring 22 year old nerd to be, I went exploring the city on my own. I asked my cab driver if the old Sacramento town was worth the time and money spent considering it was far from the uni. The cab driver, as all cab drivers do, started talking and to cut the long story short, on knowing I come from India exclaimed, “You come from Jodhpur you say? Why are YOU visiting old town? It is not even that old by your standard! Don’t you come from a city 1000 years old?” It filled my heart with joy and pride that he knew about my city and knew it so well. And I remember this story every time I visit my hometown. I always wanted to visit all those monuments back and relive my childhood memories. There never was enough time! Or let me say I never ran out of excuses. Since I have always stayed in boarding school and hostels, this place had always been the place you go back to with tired, worn down spirit. It has some heal...
19 comments
Read more

Expecto Patronum

By
Something I know the HP fans will understand instantly. For others, there is a simple explanation. In life we all go through tough times. Some unavoidable, some self-created but we have them nonetheless. And as the cliché goes, you can either sing through the rain or get sodden and cranky. Not sure if that is how the saying goes but you get the picture! And in order to sing through the rain you need a happy thought in your head because let’s be honest! Getting drenched can get uncomfortable as soon as your socks and underpants get wet. That happy thought of yours is a Patronus. Some of us are better in retaining that thought than others. Understandably it is difficult to remember and relive a moment that happened long ago. However intense it was, one moment is probably not enough. That is why you need a Patronus every day! Set your mind on an otherwise insignificant but beautiful moment and try to carry that feeling with you for an entire day, at least for some time. You can’t c...
2 comments
Read more

A feminist's half life

By
A friend messaged asking if I appreciate dark humour. I didn’t know what to say. That is the thing about turning middle aged without being prepared for it. I do not know how I feel about the things I previously appreciated. Other day I realised many of the FRIENDS jokes are bit offending. The character portrayal is a little messed up too. And I am someone who can talk FRIENDS. Amongst all this philosophy about age and humour, I messaged back saying I appreciate it if it isn’t too gruesome. In return I received a joke on feminism. From equality to women empowerment to feminism, the movement has always been laughed at and ridiculed. From witch burning to outright opposition and now ‘innocent’ jokes, we have certainly come quite far. And there are people who think we have crossed the line and littered away. You would think that this would come from men. Not entirely true. I am a financially independent woman who was privileged to be born in a family which has common sense. Th...
6 comments
Read more