I do not remember what I saw when I opened my eyes for the
first time. Going by the writing of others, it must have been happy and
sparkling eyes of my parents. Since I was the first child I surely did not have
confusing face of a sibling around me! And I gather I had my maternal
grandparents around. But all this is just the information I have got from
others. I honestly do not remember what it was like to be born.
But that is not important. What is important is that my
grandmother was there on my mother’s side when I was born. And she was there
again when my brother was born. It is
not her fault that my youngest brother decided to arrive a little too early and
that spoiled her plans. But she came rushing as soon as she got the news. That
probably justifies the love she has for all of us. She saw us when we were
useless naked ugly creatures. We cried and pooped whenever we felt like, having
no respect for the hour or the living beings around us. She loved us then, how
can she stop now?
But all those years, when I was busy growing up and she was
busy growing old, we loved each other the same way we did when I was a toddler
and she was my favorite story teller. She always taught me good things. God
only knows how much of it do I remember now. I don’t remember a time when her
hair was not so grey! As I said I do not remember much from my earlier years,
but since when I do, I remember those wrinkled hands stroking my hair, those
tired eyes sparkling with joy when a kid in house is around, that sad mouth and
streaming tears when we had to depart after a vacation. It never changed. She
was not a whiny old aged woman. She always was the cool granny who wanted us to
be good human beings.
After I got married, she once came to my in laws place to
meet me. And few days after that, I went back for a ritual at my parent’s place
along with Varun. Same day she was going back after the ceremony. She hugged me
and blessed me as always. But this time she did not cry. I found it strange at
first, but then I saw in her eyes that she was happy and content. She liked
Varun. She was sure he would take care of me. She blessed me to be good and
happy. No usual crying session this
time. It touched something deep down me. I know she loves my father as a son.
She had accepted Varun as same. Even if I was crazily in love with Varun, her
acceptance was very reassuring. And I was a little jealous too. I have had that
place for more than two decades in her heart. Varun cannot just walk in today
and share that! But I am sure I would never know the depth of her heart. I have
seen the attentions of my uncles and aunts shifting away when their kids were
born, and rightly so. But I never saw granny giving more attention to anyone
else. And I am sure every child in the family felt the same. She was there for
everyone all the time. In her presence all cousins felt connected and not
remotely jealous of sharing our beloved granny. I guess no one ever felt that
she was being shared. She has this quality of making everyone feel special and
no one was ever left out.
She has always been a source of love for me, in fact, for
all those who know her. After my
marriage, when I have more responsibilities than I ever had, she has become an
inspiration too. If ever I could be that comforting, supporting and loving to
my family, I would be proud of myself. And even if that does not happen, I know
she would still love me, as ever.
oh! Di this is soo beautiful! really.. I wish Dadi could read this. Every single line of this post is so true and directly from the heart.its one of the most beautiful thing i hv evr read. we all feel the same love which you have expressed!
ReplyDelete"And I am sure every child in the family felt the same. She was there for everyone all the time. In her presence all cousins felt connected and not remotely jealous of sharing our beloved granny. I guess no one ever felt that she was being shared. She has this quality of making everyone feel special and no one was ever left out."
Of course.. no one. I can never forget that day at your wedding when she hugged both of us and cried! that moment just got engraved on my heart :)
Asking questions are truly pleasant thing if you are not understanding something totally, however this piece of writing provides good understanding even.
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