Getting married and staying into this institution for one year is not quite an achievement as I come from India. In my country, weddings are supposed to get repaired not exchanged when malfunction. However, one year has made me older and wiser. Even if I hate to admit the older part, I brag about the wiser one. Well, even if not wise, below mentioned points will make you happy for sure. And being happy is more important than being wise.
1. There are no adjustment issues if the love is mature: If you tell me you never had adjustment issues in your marriage, trust me darling, for the rest of my life I would think you guys are cheating on each other. Or lying. You better be lying for your own good. When you have had more than two decades to shape up your life and form your opinions, love does not change everything overnight.
2. We fight because we love each other: I have often heard couples saying that they fight because they love each other. No morons! That is not how it works. You stick and fight together to the rest of the world because you love each other. You fight to each other because you have a swollen head and big mouth! Keep a watch on what goes in and out of your mouth. Make love, don’t make love an excuse for your war. And remember, adjustment issues can be solved without fighting too.
3. We should not go to bed angry: I don’t know about you, but I love my sleep. And so does my husband. Sleep deprivation makes me irrational, irritating and unreasonable. Sometimes it is good to pause the argument and give some rest to the tiny head of yours. Believe me, Sunshine can cure almost everything. Or did they say that about time? More often than not, when you get a good night sleep, things tend to look better in the morning. Well, much better than it looked when you were cranky and teary eyed last night.
4. We can say anything to each other: Now, I am not asking you to be dishonest. Just a little careful. And respectful in your choice of words. Would you have liked it if you were talked to in that tone? And do not give me “does-not-matter-as-we-are-in-love” crap. Seriously, don’t make love an excuse. You don’t talk to your manager disrespectfully and you probably hate that guy. So why are you careful while talking to him? Because what he thinks will get reflected in your pace form. Does the fact that your spouse matters more than anyone else makes him/her entitled to more respect? The answer is a definite yes!
5. He/she understands when I get angry: No they don’t. They just pretend to understand it because they don’t want to make things worse. No one wants to be treated badly. Not even when you are angry. Unless it was a definite fault of their. As I said before, chose your words wisely. Nothing gives you the right to mistreat the other person. Not even marriage.
Keeping your expectations real and not watching many romantic movies will help you a lot too. Flowers, chocolate and stuff toys are nice gestures but they do not guarantee love in long terms. In fact, nothing but your attitude matters. Love, understanding, trust, respect and loyalty are big words which no body inherits. We have to work on it. Some days we work harder. Being happy in a marriage is not easy, at least not for first few years. But it is worth all the efforts you put in. So bring on your A game and I can assure you one year of blissful marriage. After that, my darling, you are on your own.
:) thank you. cup cakes and chocolate bars help too ;)
ReplyDeleteproper implementation of above mentioned would entirely overcome divorce type of thing:)
ReplyDeleteKudos for the 5th point... ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know about the points, but the fact you guys are happy together is enough to congratulate you. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you :) This is what i have experienced and observed. We and the couples around us have been the subject of the study (unwillingly and unknowingly, if i may say) Things might be different on another corner of the world :)
ReplyDeleteTo each, his own :)
May you all have sunshine n smiles in your nuptial journeys. :) :)